Monday

I was actually good on Sunday- amazing, isn't it?
And I didn't drink on Saturday, so thats not too shabby, right?
I don't always understand the allure to drinking...

But i definitely understand the allure of food...

My goal is to be good today as well.... and so far,
so good!

The glass (or 2) has been tossed back....
fuzziness is settling in,
to an extent at least.

Sometimes i am so tired, that i just fall asleep.
and wake up later, in a panic, because i do not remember
what i was doing the previous night for a bit.
my memory sucks-
some of the sugar substitutes have fucked with me, i'll admit.
but I've cut them out- amazingly enough.

so what do i have left?
i seem to sweat profusely at night-
could it be due to the OD of salt in my daily regime?

its been 10 years.... this month.

oh boy....

and so i drink a glass of wine (or 2).
to forget
to relax
to lose my inhibitions.... too numerous...

but i don't want to eat.
i want to go smoke a pack....
its too late to eat....
regrets...
sorrow...

mistakes.